


Blind

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: Spirits and Cocaine [20]
Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I don't get left behind, Javier Peña is responsible for everyone, M/M, One Shot, Short & Sweet, Talking, keep telling yourself that, naive Steve Murphy, sure Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29667885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: Javier thinks Steve is painfully naïve but that's alright.
Relationships: Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Series: Spirits and Cocaine [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100027
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	Blind

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Secrets

“So, what’s the deal with you and Carrillo?”

The question came on a cool evening with them sitting on the steps of their apartment building, Javier taking slow, savory drags of his cigarette, Steve practically lounging with his long legs stretched down over them, eyes steady on the street ahead. It gave Javier the chance to look at him, to take in the tension in his jaw, the way his thumb played absently with his ring finger, unaccustomed to the empty space.

Something about his voice, the way the words came out gruff, almost defensive made Javier think there’s something there, just under the surface, simmering, but he can’t be bothered to go fishing for it on a night like tonight. They’d had a good day and those were few and far between, no reason to go lookin for trouble.

“What about him?”

Steve isn’t having it, doesn’t seem inclined to put up with Javi playing dumb and that almost makes him smile, almost. His partner looks at him, eyes narrowed, back a little stiff like he’s betting on a fight that isn’t going his way and Javi doesn’t acknowledge it, let’s his own eyes linger on his cracked lips, the way he automatically wets them with his tongue smoothing across, wonders…stifles the urge to just lean in and kiss him.

“Javi,” he’s getting annoyed now and Javier can’t help but wonder if this is what its like having a puppy, constantly vying for your full attention, it had only gotten worse since they’d started sleeping together. “He trusts you.”

He shrugged, inhaled deeply and a moment later absently blew the smoke right at Steve’s face just to see the way it made his nose curl, just to watch him swat it away, head shaking. Javier shouldn’t find it has funny as he does but he’s in a rare, good mood and he can tell Steve is struggling to have this conversation and do it without souring things between them.

“You trust him,” Steve finally continued.

Javi sighed, flicked his cigarette away and twisted it into the cement with his boot, “we’ve been through a lot together.”

“So have we.”

That made Javier pause, peering over at his partner who wouldn’t quite look him in the eye all of a sudden and he finds himself wondering what the actual fuck they were talking about, “yeah we have. What’s this about Steve?”

This time he knows the look in the other man’s eye, had made a point of cataloguing the way they glinted with irritation, the way his pride seemed to shine right through in moments like these…because that shit was dangerous in this line of work and Javier wasn’t going to put up with it. What’s worse, Steve must know how petty it would sound because he doesn’t say a word, just keeps looking at the empty house across the street.

“You know I trust you,” Javier began. “Carrillo and I have an understanding-”

“One I’m not a part of,” and Javi can’t help but think he sounds a little bit like a scorned lover, like a man that was being terribly betrayed, and the thing was…he got it, understood why he’d feel that way. It was clear early on how Steve felt about being left in the dark, how he felt when things were happening outside his control, except that didn’t change a god damn thing in the end.

“Ingenuo.”

Steve glanced at him, lips tilting down, “I don’t know what that means.”

Javi nudged his knee with his foot, “I know.”

“Care to share-”

“Not really.”

“Javi-”

“The things I don’t involve you in,” Javier interrupted, lowering his voice and forcing Steve to lean in a bit to hear him, to really listen. “Aren’t important. The things Carrillo and I do won’t change the end result. When it’s time to catch Escobar you’ll be right there in the thick of it…but in the meantime…I’m just doing my job.”

Steve blinked, frown nearly moving into a pout and Javi was questioning why he bothered coming outside for a smoke when they could have been sequestered away in his apartment, when he could already be stripping Steve down to nothing.

“Your job?”

Sparing only a brief glance at the abandoned street, Javi reached out to snag one of Steve’s hands, curling their fingers together and taking up the space where his wedding ring used to reside, “taking care of you, watching out for you.”

Predictably, he stiffened, taking offense but he didn’t try to shake Javier’s hand off so he figured he wasn’t that put out by it, “I don’t need to be taken care of Javi.”

“Not gonna stop me from doing it.”

“I’m not a child-”

“No, you’re worse,” Javi cut him off, squeezing his hand, let the gravity of it all slip into his voice, the sincerity, and the heartbreak always threatening on the edge of his mind. “You’re the man I love and I can’t imagine a bigger failure then you not being able to look yourself in the eye anymore and not doing what I can to prevent that.”

“Javi…” the sound of his voice alone told him Steve wished he could gather him in his arms, something he’d be happy to allow if they weren’t on the street with too many windows nearby and strangers that could pass them at any give second. “That isn’t your responsibility.”

This time Javier did laugh, shaking off the somber veil that had encompassed them, watched Steve’s own lips twitch into a half smile. Steve would never know it but the man had been his responsibility since the moment they shook hands in front of the American Embassy and he saw the gleam of determination in his eyes, the confidence of a soldier fresh off the boat with no fucking clue what shit storm he’d stepped into. It was a little thing, to protect the innocence that seemed to cling to him like a shield, the unfaltering faith that there was still some good in Javi, in Carrillo, in all these people who’d already sold their soul to catch the devil.

Really, it was the least he could do.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this one is...I just needed to write.


End file.
